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VELVET HAIR!!!!!!!

Hi!!! I just wanted to blog a short entry to show off my new wine colored hair!!

Or VELVET hair as I like to call it. LOL super act chio I know :’D

Pardon the half-smirk, half-drunk expression. I was just really excited to get my hair done and I wasn’t quite sure how to convey that excitement through facial expression.

On my way to the salon!!!! ^.^ All ready to get a mini make-over~

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Wtf at that random strand of highlighted hair along my bangs O.O

In the process of getting it colored… asddkfkdfler can’t wait to see how it turns out!!! (although I already know, I feel excited for you, lol)



Almost finished!!!

Blowing it dry! So straight and silky even though I just colored it ♥


AND IT’S ALL DONE!!!!!!! :) :) :)

It looks red here, but under bright day light it’s got a more purplish tone. It tends to change color quite a bit with different lighting.

And I look… yellow. Like a Simpson.

Voila~ Here it is, without any editing, under natural sun light. Quite purplish I reckon.

I love love love this new color! This type of color doesn’t last long on hair (a month if you’re lucky) so it’ll soon fade to some brownish shade.

I washed my hair for the first time today since coloring it and it’s already significantly lighter colored.

My bath tub water turned this red after soaking in it for 20 minutes. Dafuq?! Looks like I murdered someone in there.

Picture spammmmmmmmmmm

Obviously pleased with myself ehehe

Ok then here it looks just brown.. weird.

Btw, I’m sorry for all the iPhone quality pictures as of late :( I know I’ve been lazy. But I’ll try to pick up my DSLR soon!!!

END!!!! Going to take as many photos as I can these few days while the color lasts! ♥

xoxo,
Jess

Valentine’s Day 2012

This Valentine’s Day, Sam and I decided to keep it relatively simple.

Not because we think splurging on V’day is a waste of money, but because we’re going overseas soon and I tend to spend a lot more than I can afford on my travel adventures so yeah, V’day can take second place this time!

Last year we had a spa session, stayed at an idyllic hotel and had a nice dinner by the sea side.. This year we did almost all of that again except the spa part, which I think I would’ve appreciated the most. ;_; *aching muscles*


Nevertheless, we managed to spend quality
time with each other, and at the end of the day, that’s what matters!

Long before Valentine’s Day actually happened, Sam decorated my room with a bunch of roses and twinkly lights. :’) It is incredibly prettyful and romantic at night!!!!!!! I don’t think I’ll ever find another guy in this world to do this for me. He knows just the right ways to sweep me off my feet. It’s so simple but it lights up my world every night. Literally.

Here’s sort of how it looks like, without any editing done to the colors / lighting:

Except that this was taken with my iPhone (as with many other pictures in this post) so the quality isn’t the greatest, it is in fact a lot less harsh looking and more dreamy in real life! :)

Set me in mood for lovin’ wayyy before the 14th of February. ♥

My V’day activities officially started on the 13th of February.

I woke up in the morning, and baked about 100 cupcakes! But I’ll tell you more about that later.

Sam, seeing me hard at work, decided to cook an amazing Pre-V’day lunch all for meeee!

♥ ♥ ♥ It was delizziioouuss.


1st dish:
Golden mushrooms soaked in sukiyaki sauce, wrapped with bacon, on a bed of buttered baby asparagus.

2nd dish:
Honey glazed marinated pork belly pieces, with super caramelized onions and accompanied by flame grilled portobello mushrooms

3rd dish:
Baked red skinned potatoes with heavy dollops of sour cream, cheese, bacon pieces & spring onions!!!

SUPER DUPER YUMMY. I was like this :’DDDDD FER ME?!

10/10 points for the sweet gesture, effort and taste!! The way to a man’s heart, they say, is through his stomach. I reckon it goes the same way for women. Or any living creature for that matter.


…Back to the cupcakes!

They were butterscotch cupcakes with luscious chocolate buttercream, topped off with gold sprinkles and red hearts then packed them into boxes of 12. Here they are, obscenely squashed in between my thunder thighs for maximum support, hastily squeezed into Nich’s car. LOL.

His car is the tiniest 2 seater convertible ever and it’s quite a miracle that we could squeeze 100 cupcakes into the passenger seat WITH ME in it and that none of the cuppycakes got squashed during transport.

Thanks to Nich who agreed to help me deliver to their far away, obscure locations! You’re a champ!!!

These cupcakes were on their way to Childrens’ Homes. I watched the movie “Patch Adams” recently, and was inspired by how the main character in the movie helped needy children feel better. Something then popped into my head, telling me it’d be a good idea to deliver cupcakes to children’s homes for Valentine’s Day, just to spread some love… and hopefully put a grin on a few kid’s faces. Well 90+ kids in fact.

I only wish I could’ve been there in person to see their expressions when their whole face gets covered with chocolate buttercream!!! Unfortunately I had to rush off to meet Sam for our own plans.

Everyone deserves to be loved.

V’day doesn’t have to be all about romance. It can be going shopping with your girlfriends, spending time with your parents / grandparents or even doing charity and making a stranger’s day. Everyone has a different way of expressing their love. For me, charity was a piece of cake.

I think people should take a chill pill, and stop saying things like “I hate Valentine’s Day!!!” or “FUCK LOVEY DOVEY COUPLES AND THEIR MUSHY BULLSHIT.” It’s not very pleasant.

Sure, it’s commercialized, but so is every other holiday in the calender. Commercialism isn’t always a bad thing. People are happy, and business booms. What is there to complain about? Just because people celebrate Christmas once a year and make a big hooha out of it during that period, doesn’t mean they only love Jesus / God one day out of that whole year. They love God every single day, they just make their worship and affection extra obvious on that one special day.

So it’s not fair at all to say that couples who indulge in Valentine’s Day activities are superficial and hypocritical. Single people who whine and bitch about V’day are no different from the scrooges and grouches that put down X’mas because they are too bitter to be happy for other people.

Just because your friends give you presents and throw a part for you on one specific date annually (your birthday) to celebrate your existence, would that mean they don’t actually care enough about you every other day of the year? No, it just means that people are imperfect, and sometimes we’re too caught up with our own thoughts and doings that we forget to take time to smell the roses. Or to give your special girl roses. Valentine’s Day lets couples all over the world do that.

So dear single, angry people..

If you don’t stop sulking, you might miss the chance for somebody special to fall in love with your smile.

After delivering the cupcakes to their respective locations, Nich dropped me off at Marina Bay Sands where I met up with the boyfie, and….

He surprised me with flowers!!!!

He had the cheekiest smile on his face when he showed up and walked through the door with a big bouquet of roses. Ok not as big as the 100+ roses one he got me last time but still big enough considering I was actually expecting zero!

I was genuinely surprised to receive a bouquet, because I was with him 24/7 and I don’t see how he had the time to buy flowers without me knowing.. after all, we live in the same room. I think he ran out of the house when I went to deliver the cupcakes and hastily bought the bouquet then. I told him not to buy flowers, because they’re so overpriced on V’day… but he did anyway.

I’m not complaining!!! ♥ Thank you for the gorgeous flowers!

Frolicked around in the room for a bit before heading downstairs for the buffet dinner, where we stuffed our faces till we could eat and move no more.. and then we chatted the night away.

I love it when we have the time to have slow dinners, just talking about everything and nothing. A constant flow of meaningful conversation is essential to a healthy relationship! My favorite thing to do with Sam is 1) cuddling and 2) talking about life

I first fell in love with him 3 years ago just listening to his voice online. It wouldn’t be the same if he didn’t have the same deep, hunky voice he does. :P

Cheers to everything we’ve shared, and everything else that is to come.

The rest of the day… was just glorious lazying around. My favorite kind of activity. Falling in and out of naps, watching TV, soaking in bubble baths and watching candlelight flicker. Losing track of time.

I always come to MBS for every special occasion (X’mas, birthdays, anniversaries, just for fun, whenever) it is like a true sanctuary to me. I feel like it’s the only place in Singapore I can TRULY leave Singapore while being right in the middle of it. When I’m here, I either switch off my phone or turn it on silent mode, and forget the world.

No cupcakes to frost, no 2 tiered cake to decorate, no blog hater to leave a rude comment, no twitter drama to follow, no emails to reply, no whatsapp buzzing my phone every few minutes, to cake customers to hound me relentlessly, no errands to run, no maid to come into my room and annoy me….

Absolutely NOTHING to do, except anything that I WANT to do.

That’s what I call a good day. And I will never ever ever get sick of MBS. Lol. Never. I see myself coming back here 30 more times. :)

Phillip enjoying the view!!! I squealed in delight when I found out that Sam had actually packed Phillip into the suitcase. He is the cuddliest thing to ever exist. Usually when I forget to bring him I get bummed out. I love Phillip. I tell him all my problems and he talks back. Don’t ask how, but he really does, lol.

Let me give you an idea. Sam hides behind the penguin and puts on the funniest high pitched voice and thus Phillip the real penguin is born. :3

It’s the CUTEST thing ever coz Sam makes Phillip look like he is moving on his own and makes him flap his arms up and down and bounce hyperactively hahaha I have trouble believing Phillip isn’t actually alive. To me he is. I LOVE LOVE LOVE PHILLIP.

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The next morning, on Valentine’s Day itself -

It was the most difficult thing getting out of bed, despite having a late check out at 1pm. MBS has the softest sheets I’ve slept on.

Thankfully we had food to seduce us out of bed. Or we might have just stayed in there forever!


My V’day dress!!! ^.^

Sam likes me in white. So I’m going to hunt more white dresses for my birthday, his birthday, etc. White’s a tricky color… If you pick the wrong dress you’ll look extra wide for nothing. Hopefully this turned out to be a good choice!



My roses!!! ♥ ♥ ♥

If you don’t normally wear red lipstick, V’day is the only day you can, without anyone asking why.



Double the trouble!

Paired my new royal blue knitted cardigan with my embroidered white dress!

After bumming around some more and watching Discovery Channel (our main source of entertainment at MBS), we checked out, I did some shopping at La Senza and we went home!!!

Oh oh – what we got each other for Valentine’s Day!

I was happily napping back in my own bed at home, when I was awoken by Phillip being bounced up and down on my tummy.

And then I saw the card.

And I was like… AWWWWW.

Then he probed me to open the card and to read the inside,…


AND THEN I WAS ALL LIKE

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SERIOUSLY THE C U T E S T THING I HAVE EVER BEEN PRESENTED WITH.

It made me sosososososo happy!!! I was like, “Phillip drew this?! Oh Phillip you sweet, sweet thing!” And Sam just stands there wishing he had written “From Phillip & Sam” coz I was showering the penguin with kisses. LOL.

Since we agreed on no expensive presents this year, I also gave him a hand drawn card in return.

Most of you probably won’t know what the image above signifies.

But big ♥ to you if you get it!!! You’ve been a dedicated reader and I love you for it!!!!

The rest of the day was quiet, the way we wanted it.

He whipped up some heart shaped mushroom bites (it tastes likes the one you get at TCC but better!!!) and a beef dish for dinner. Oh and he also made dessert that was heart shaped pavlova which I forgot to take a picture of. Lovely, as always.

I hope your Valentine’s Day was fabulous and filled with love, no matter who you spent it with!!!

Don’t forget to show the people closest to your heart that you love and cherish them, even when it’s not Valentine’s Day.

xoxo,
Jess

Chinese New Year 2012



I ♥ my family.

I may not spend a lot of time with them, but I cherish their presence whenever they’re around and I’m silently supporting everything they do. They have a special spot in my heart. Deep down inside I wish we would all meet up and hang out more often. But I understand that everyone has their own lives to lead. Everyone’s always so busy.

When I was growing up, mamma always drills this fact into my head: That if you don’t have family, then you have naught.

Chinese New Year used to be all about Ang Pao money and snacks to me as a kid.

Getting teased by my relatives for being chubby. Have my grades compared to my cousins. Watch my elder brother get hounded by aunties and uncles about getting married. And eating so much till I go into a food coma. Somewhere along the way I realized Chinese New Year is so much more than that.

…Things were different this year. I realized that I am 20 now. I realize that my younger cousins, whom I swore were only 8 years old just yesterday, are now teenagers and have grown up so fast.

As for the older ones, they just keep getting older. It breaks my heart to see my old aunties and uncle getting older and more frail. Especially my grandmother, because she is the only grandparent I am actually relatively close to. It makes me think about how some day they are going to be gone, and that Chinese New Year would be so quiet and different without them. In fact, I don’t see any point in celebrating it if they’re not around. They are all I know of family.

Every other year, I get annoyed by the same thing. By how all my Asian relatives talk in the top of their voices in the crudest language / dialect I have ever heard (Hokkien) and it sounds like a crazy market. They make such a ruckus, it makes my head explode. Then again I guess that’s how all old Asian people are. They have no normal speaking voice. It’s either not saying anything at all, or shouting at the top of their voice just to get their point across. This year, however, I enjoyed soaking up all that noise. I know I’ll miss it when I don’t get to be annoyed by it anymore.

That I’d rather a ruckus and being surrounded by kinship while it lasts, than loneliness. Being a kid on Chinese New Year is the best freakin’ thing ever. Just eat and eat and look cute and have relatives pinch your cheeks and stretch out your hand to receive your red packets filled. “Gong xi fa cai!” were the easiest words I’d ever uttered to receive free money.

Reunion dinner was at my uncle’s place. Everyone was dressed down so I didn’t think it was too polite to take pictures, thus this is all I have. It was so good though!!! Grandma’s cooking is the best. She makes my favorite dishes that I’ve grown up eating. The taste of familiarity is so comforting.

The next day, on Chu Yi itself, the celebration was at our place like always.

By 2pm my house was filled with people going “Xin nian kuai le!” and handshakes everywhere!

My CNY outfit!!! I wanted to buy this dress the moment I saw it in the store, but didn’t because of the price. I pondered over it for a few days but eventually forfeited the idea. Over lunch one day, I casually mentioned this dress I was eyeing to my mother. “I don’t have anything to wear for Chinese New Year!!! D:”

I didn’t expect that a few hours later, she’d go all the way down to the store in Orchard Road and buy it for me!!!! Thank you mummy ♥

Super yummeh steamboat that we have every year :D

Tang hoon, fresh veg, sotong balls, fish paste, sotong, pork liver, prawns, mushrooms & more!!!!

I don’t even eat steamboat outside but I can’t get enough of the ones we have at home because my mum makes the BEST soups and includes awesome ingredients that makes the soup tastier and tastier as minutes go by because it soaks up all the flavors from the raw ingredients.

My aunt and cousin, Ling Ling!

Wah she’s fast becoming so tall and pretty. She’s almost as tall as me (I’m about 1.7) and she is only like what, 12. I think she’s going to be taller than me next year!!!

I was halfway talking when Sam took this shot so I have the weirdest wry smile on my face. :3

A much better shot! After reviewing this shot on my camera, I noticed how the way I was holding the oranges looked like I was going “Oh hey! Take a look at my melons.” (or oranges in this case)

So I did a funny pose with my oranges over my boobs!!!! …But my cousin didn’t manage to take the right shot :(

I guess this means he wasn’t looking at my chest. Which is a good thing considering he is my cousin lol.

Googly eyes! Me & my cousin Shu Yuan who looked extra pretty that day :)

I’ve spent the most time with her out of all my cousins. Back in the day, my kindergarten was near her old house, so after school she’d come and pick me up and walk me home. Then I’d bug her endless;y to bring me to the playground, to fly a kite with me, to teach me how to play the piano because she was always good at everything….

I wonder if she still sees me as that lil kid or does she see me as a young woman now? It must be so weird. I sooo cannot envision my little cousins becoming women. That’s just… wrong. Lol. I know it’s just part of nature but I feel like it’s defying the laws of nature!!! I mean, how could my lil cuzzies not stay innocent, young and cute forever?! As you can tell recently I’m having serious trouble copying with the concept of growing up, growing old and change.

My handsome cousin and my cute grandmother who perpetually has her eyes closed in pictures hahaha

Proud moment for me and Sam when my cousin started talking about Shiberty’s Sweets and showed my relatives some of my cake designs on my website!!!

Everyone was singing praises and going, “Wah so talented!!! Wah go set up a shop!! So capable” and I just stood there beside them watching their reaction and beaming away. I think this is the first time they’d ever seen my designs properly coz I started this less than a year ago.

Ruiwen (the dude in the cool metallic purple shirt above above) told me he’d only recently found out about my cake designing, and wanted to order one for his girlfriend’s birthday. So out of curiosity, he asked 3 random friends (who were not my blog readers or anything) if they’ve heard about Shiberty’s Sweets. He said surprisingly all 3 of them knew who I was and what I did, one of them have even ordered from me before!!! He was very impressed.

Needless to say, I was very pleased.

Food, food, glorious food! What would Chinese New Year be without an abundance of food?!

Yu Sheng that Sam spontaneously brought home one day! I had never expected him to do that because 1) He’s not celebrating with his family, he didn’t need to go the extra mile, but he did. and 2) That’s just really sweet. 3) I didn’t even think of it myself.

He said, “Here, I bought this for your family on Chinese New Year, this will make your mum smile.”

GIRLS, DID I GET LUCKY OR WHAT????….

I actually lou hei-ed a long time ago, way before CNY even happened – at the start of 2012. Our family went to eat at Kam Boat’s newest outlet that recently opened and my mum ordered Yu Sheng for just the 6 of us. I was like, “You siao, Chinese New Year still got so long, why you so kia su order now??? Got few weeks leh!”

And mama said “I want to lou first!!! Take ALL the luck first, before other people get to it!!!!”

LOLOLOL.

Sam super cute lor. I wore Cheongsams the past few years, so he wore traditional outfits to match me.



CNY 2010

CNY 2011

…This year, I decided to wear white lace for a change.

He also chose to wear a white colored shirt. :P

You think you very cute ah, always wear matching?! Actually couples that wear matching outfits are quite sickening to look at. Guess we are one of them LOL

The lighting was sooooo good in my living room!!!! Shoulda taken more pictures!!!

Mum giving bro an ang pao as he recites lame four-word-prosperity-idioms in Chinese. I say it’s lame because his Chinese is as bad as mine. LOL I asked my mum, “Eh, wish you in English can a not?”

She laughed and said “can.”

So I wished her.. “Hope you win at MBS every time”, “Hope you stay forever young and beautiful and wrinkle-free”, “Hope you will be healthy and happy forever!!!”

…Alamak. *face palm* Next time before Chinese New Year, I’d go google some chim Chinese idioms and memorize + recite them over and over in my head, so my mother will be impressed.

Dunno what they saying here. But my mum is probably going “HOPE YOU PUT ON MORE WEIGHT” lol she never stops saying I’m too fat or that Janice is too skinny. Asian parents.. You can never please them.

Fat also cannot, skinny also cannot. “A” for exam also not good enough, must get A PLUS PLUS!!!! O.O



As evening approaches, everyone gathers around the TV watching Reign Of Assassins and Where Got Ghost?” together.

They especially enjoyed the second show, bursting into laughter every other minute. Asians + Superstition go together like Soda + Fries!

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Took some mandatory group pictures before everyone went home at night!!!!

I was singing “ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!!!! Oh oh oh oh oh oh~~~” and swaying my butt back and forth, as I was taking this shot of my aunties. Nobody giggled except Sam. I love that we have the same stupid sense of humor.

Everything is hilarious when you are us.

Handsome boys and the matriarch of them all!!!!

Not enough uncles to take group picture, so just throw in the cousins + my Vietnamese boyfriend who is not even blood related… LOL (that would be gross and illegal)

COUSINS!!! ^.^.. Though it’s not totally complete……


I miss you, Linda. Wish you could be here to see me grow up, to see what your little cousin has become. Wish we had the chance to grow up together and eat steamboat with the rest of the family and play ban luck and do silly things together. I will keep the memories we shared close to me and you live on in my heart. You were always so nice to me.
I hope that you are at peace wherever you are.

…And that was how I spent my Chinese New Year in 2012.

This is a random fact to end my blog post with.

I am no longer bitter about my family not being the type that celebrates Christmas. (I LOVE X’MAS. And always sulked because we’re not Christians so we don’t celebrate it much at all.)

Because I now acknowledge we have a different tradition of our own. And it’s just as good, and in some ways, even better. Who needs presents, when you can get straight out cash???

Lol I joke.

Us Chinese people have Chinese New Year, that one time of the year that will bring us all together, no matter what. Although I don’t really get why it’s called “Chinese New Year” or how it’s a New Year at all for Chinese… I am more than willing to tolerate the DONG DONG DONG QIANG music for a month everywhere I go, just to spend quality time with these people I care about.

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Oh yeah, P.S mandatory vain pictures before I go.

I hope your Chinese New Year was fabulous too!!!

Now the question is… how do I lose all that weight I’ve put on from stuffing my face the whole of past week?????

xoxo,
Jess

Soleil

Having a lift that opens directly into the apartment made me feel like Blair Waldorf for a day.

…..What’s that? Delusion? Perhaps just slightly.

Love that black coffee table and carpet!

Chandeliers make any home look instantly more welcoming and classier.

Ugly ladder beside me coz cleaning for the new place is still in the works…

Awesome huge balcony in the living room that lights up the whole place beautifully. Too bad there’s nothing particularly interesting to look at, though I do like the openness and it brings in fresh air and windy breezes.

I take one step out of the house & into the lift, and take another step out one floor above to find this sanctuary!!!

Every new age condo has to have this – a private jacuzzi for your residents to lounge in!!! All the more reason to invite your friends over :*

*over excited dorky smile*

Bahahahhahaa Nicholas you are so stupid ♥

Because best friends small each others feet like it’s the normal thing to do.

We all have that one spastic friend who spoils our otherwise-pretty pictures……

There we go. LOL

When it got wayyyy too hot in the jacuzzi due to Singapore’s awful weather, we sought solace in the equally gorgeous pool instead!!!

Boys will be boys!

I thought Sam’s exposed nipples looked rather offensive so I photoshopped them away. LOLOL. I called him over and asked, “Hey, notice anything strange about this pic?”

And he’s like… “Why is my chest so fair and wide? o_O”

……”:O!!! WHERE ARE MY NIPPLES?!?!?!”

“Jess… you look kinda big in this one, and I don’t think you can photoshop this.”

Me: “Nonsense! I can photoshop anything.”

*looks at the picture* …Oh.

/End of picture spam from yesterday’s happy day!

xoxo,
Jess

If I Were A Boy… even just for a day.

Ok, first of all, you need to see THIS cool video of a make up guru on Youtube showing you how to turn into a man. Or more specifically, Drake.

I can’t remember how, but I stumbled across this Youtube vid randomly and I wuz all like “Wowwww, that looks incredibly funnnnn. n__n”

You can skip through most of it and just watch the general progression. I was giggling endlessly at the transformation.



The Before and After!!!!
Isn’t that awesome? :D LOL.

And THEN, out of nowhere… I was all……..

:o :o :o… CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

“IMMA BE A MAN FOR A DAY TOO!!! *pokes Sam who’s sitting next time* Baby, I’m going to turn into a man!!!!!!!! Are you excited?

Him: -____-

I don’t think he thought I was serious, but I was dead serious. I don’t know what possessed me. In a coupla minutes, I was gathering all the make up I had, rubbing dark eyeshadow onto my face, trying to look as un-feminine as possible. In about 30 minutes or so, I was quite done with my job. I just had to find some of Sam’s clothes to wear. It was awfully amusing, really. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror without doubling over cracking up. I think I did a relatively convincing job for a spontaneous effort.

I went on and took a SHIT LOAD of epiccccccc photos that looked like I was on crack, they were so epically epic, I dressed up as a guy and had a fake boner in my pants, me clutching my fake crotch and making gross sexy faces at the camera and there was about 100 photos on there that would make you piss your pants laughing. BUT because all good things ALWAYS come to an end, unfortunately when I tried loading the pics into my computer at night, I found out that my memory card was faulty. T_____T None of my laptops or computers at home could read it (we have 3 computers, 2 laptops and 1 macbook in total).

It was weird because the camera could still display the pictures however according to the computers, the data wasn’t formatted properly. I’d also misplaced the cables to my camera, so I couldn’t hook it up to the computer via the camera and get the info off. So I thought to myself “WTFUCK is this shit. Please don’t die on me now. I’m only a man for a day, and I just washed all my make up off, I’m not putting it all back on again!!!” so the next day I went out to Challenger (a hardware store) and bought myself a new memory card reader in hopes of making it work.

But when I wanted to try and see if it worked today, I realized that THE memory card has gone MISSING. ……………….. I’ve searched high and low, flipped my room inside out, no sign of it. It literally disappeared into thin air because it’s just not here anymore. Don’t ask me how or when or why because I don’t know myself. All I know is, it’s gone. So I bought a new memory card for nothing, and completely lost the pictures FOREVER. Needless to say I was all like FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU big time because those pictures were priceless!!! I’d rather lose twice the amount of vain, normal camwhore photos and have kept the boy ones instead. Why do I have the worst luck?! :(

Luckily (not really) for me, I still have some lousy iPhone quality photos yet. So… enough rambling, you’re probably wonder “Wtf is this girl on about”, so without further ado, I’ll show you some photos. Pixelated photos that don’t compare to the ones I took on my other camera at all, but photographic evidence that I WAS a man for a day after all. *le sigh*


So ladies and gentlemen, I present to you….
Me. As a man.


…..Everyone, meet…
Jake. (I’ve always liked that name. I told myself when I was a kid that if I had a son next time, he’d be called Jake. And I don’t know why I was a child thinking about having children herself, something obviously went wrong somewhere.)


“WHAT’S UP NEEEEGAAZZ, IT’S J-LO IN DA HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

And that was one embarassing name I used to tell people to call me, when I was a kid. J-Lo, as in Jessica Loh. HAHAHA GEDDIT??? #loserkid #foreveralone


Sam: Are you trying to look like a man, or a hobo?

Me: A hobo man!!!! :D

So what do you think? DO I MAKE A HAMSUM BOI?! :DDDD. I’ve heard the eyebrows are a little too slick, too perfect, but I think that is a forgivable make up flaw. Well how do you suppose I could will myself to grow real bushy eyebrow hair in an hour?!


AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

According to everyone else who has seen me in this state (my family, Nicholas and the people who work at Bedok’s Selegie Tao Hway joint coz I went out at night like this to buy beancurd.) I have a really “qian bian” face. I think it’s quite true lah I also feel like punching my own face lololol.

Sam said, “Why do you keep snarling? That’s not what all guys do.”

Me: “I can’t think of any other way to pose, or another facial expression to give that is relatively manly! Coz all my normal photo-taking facial expressions range along something like

this….”

*blows kisses* AM I KAWAII? ^__________^!!

(I asked Sam this question, and he replied “You look like Nicholas.” I BURST OUT LAUGHING.)

Through this experiment, I have realized that manly photo taking angles = display your side profile to show off your jawline, give slightly slitty fierce eyes, and to grit your teeth. No pouting or SMIZING or risk looking retarded like the above.

Really though, after inspecting these photos again & again, I honestly think I make a not-bad male specimen. I wouldn’t go as far as to say “good”, but…. come on. A lot of guys I know are worse looking than that. HAHAHAH. Ladies, would you date this guy?

*hears a resounding NO!!! …..but ignores it.*

Sure, a little too snarly and dirty looking.. but nothing a shower and a shave can’t fix. -nods-

I think I look more like a boy than the Youtube make up guru, to be frank. A marvelous job if I do say so myself. *beams for all the wrong reasons* I feel like making my own video now, so people can see MY transformation on video.. But I’m not sure if it’s something to be proud of as that may also mean I was just born with exceptionally manly and coarser looking features for a girl.

….My boyfriend refused to kiss me the whole night.

Who wants to guess why? Lol. I guess my make up’s too convincing, because after awhile he was so repulsed, he actually told me sternly to “GO AWAY”. Da fuq.

I don’t blame him though, I was splayed on the bed, full on looking like a homeless man and repeatedly asking for “cuddlesssss!” in a high pitched baby-ish voice. LOL.

This is about the most sexually awkward picture I’ve taken. ♥ I know you still love me deep down inside Sam.. remember how you said LOOKS aren’t everything???

2 things funny about this photo: 1) Me, duh. 2) Sam’s gut.

Well, that’s all I have for my man photos, unfortunately.

I am especially motivated to record my Girl to Boy transformation ever since I’ve lost the HQ photos. Ughh. I’m still so cut up over the loss and malfunction of that memory card. :( Y’all would’ve loved the stupid pictures on it. …Should I do the video then?? I think I might, one of these days… when I feel like being a man again. (I hope I don’t get these strange urges too often) Or when Beyonce’s singing moves me enough.

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And with that, I leave you with pictures taken yesterday that reek of outrageous femininity to remind you all that I actually AM a female at the end of the day.

As hard as it may be to believe now, my vagina is still very much intact and alive and flapping. (JK about the flapping part. Or maybe not.)

xoxo,
Jake


(…Thumbs up for you sir, if you saw what I did there.)

xoxo,
Jess
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