It hasn’t even been 2 months since I moved into my new apartment, but it feels like a long time ago when I buried my face in my old bed sheets, huddled in a ball, in tears.
I was feeling so helplessly insecure, and vulnerable. Afraid to be independent, afraid of change and stepping out of my comfort zone….. Terrified of not having a real place to call home any more. I only had less than a month to the date which I’d have to move out of my old house by, and I still hadn’t found a place to live in yet. Every single day I was being pressured into finding a suitable place to rent that was convenient, comfortable, and within financial means. I thought to myself, “Why is this all happening to me??? I’m not even married, or ready move out yet. I don’t want to leave. Where would I go?” After frantic searching and sleepless nights, I managed to sign the papers for a rental apartment a grand whopping whole week before moving into it. That’s how screwed up and confusing the situation was – it all happened at the very last minute.
Then came a moment when he walked over, covered me with a blanket of reassurance.. looked me in the eyes and said, “I promise you, that no matter which house we end up living in, I’ll make it feel like home.” I replied, “There will be no place else in the world that’s home like this.” But I blinked away the tears, and I told myself to grow up.
…7 weeks on, here I am, sitting in my computer chair in my new place at Yishun typing this blog post to you guys, feeling a lot more independent and strong willed. It’s not home like I used to know it: I don’t know every nook and cranny of the house like I did with my old one, and I don’t have a thousand irreplaceable memories here. But I’ve made new ones with friends and family since; I feel safe, comfortable and that I belong, which is good enough a home for me, more than I even expected out of a new & foreign place.
“I do miss my old room”, I said to him one evening, while looking around my new room.
“It was just so lively and so me – full of bright colors everywhere, almost like a kid’s room, and I felt happy being in it. My current room is more spacious, however this house has such dull, depressing colors and minimal design that it looks dead. It desperately needs life and some color, too bad I can’t paint the boring white walls!”
And so, a few weeks later… I found him in his room doing this.
He’d bought some cardboard letters from a craft store that spelled out “S H I B E R T Y“…. and hand painted them my favorite color – gold!!! Needless to say, I was really surprised because I didn’t ask or hint for him to do this for me at all. It came out of nowhere (perhaps from the goodness in his heart). Thank you for sweet litle gestures like this, I don’t know who else in the world would ever do something so thoughtful for me!! *sniffles*
Here you can see him painting the letter “S”, which has funny holes in the middle of it because he cut up a number “8″ and re-assembled it to be an “S” – the craft store unfortunately ran out of stock for certain letters.. all the more opportunity for him to show how creative and dedicated he is! That’s my man.
The pretty end product of his work looks like this on my revamped bedroom wall:
Isn’t this THE BEST bed you have ever seen?! :’) Roses, fairy lights, my fluffy fat penguin boys and a glittery gold handmade “Shiberty” sign from my sweet boyfriend.
Spot the Fat Santa among his army of oversized black and white elves we brought home for Christmas!
I love coming home and opening my room door to see all of this greeting me. And jumping onto that glorious marshmallowy king sized bed!!! I feel like my whole room has come alive, with this simple addition.
It’s way more sparkly and captivating when you see it in person because the camera doesn’t capture the glitter he sprinkled on so well.
Some nights when I can’t sleep, I gaze at up these lights in the wee hours of the morning and stare at them until my eyes go out of focus, and I slowly drift off to dreamland. It looks a little like this…
When I put my favorite song on repeat and sink my head into the soft velvety pillows… my life is literally made complete at that very second. It really doesn’t take much to keep me content. Whenever I feel lonely or upset, turning on these lights instantly make me feel better. I don’t know what sort of magic it possesses.
So now, here’s me, in my natural habitat, feeling like a really fortunate girl by knowing that I can always seek solace and find home in the people I love, no matter where in the world I may end up at.
I’ve learned that home isn’t about where you live or the house you stay in - it’s the memories you make in it, and the people who share it with you. I am home, when I am with you.