Cyber Bullying

This headline caught my attention when I was browsing twitter the other day.

“Singapore has the second highest number of cyber-bullying cases after the US, says new survey. -Straits Times”

I can’t say this information comes off as much of a surprise, I’ve noticed this all along, being online 24/7 and all so what I’m really shocked by is how much people are choosing to be BLIND towards the situation.



Does anyone actually understand what it REALLY means?


It seems like nobody cares, but really, PEOPLE SHOULD CARE.

Singapore, a super tiny country… tiny would be an understatement. And yet we’re second highest in cyber bullying rates?!

I never understood why people said Singapore’s a conservative country. Conservative my ass.

I’ll take rude, shallow, narrow-minded and superficial over conservative any day.
I spend a lot of my time online (obviously being a blogger and a geek) and I can safely say young Singaporeans are the nastiest, bitchiest bunch of netizens I’ve ever met.

I read the blogs of people from around the world and I’ve always wondered how come other people can be so kind and encouraging compared to Singaporeans. I’ve almost NEVER seen a spiteful or rude comment on other peoples blogs (non-Singaporean)

You can’t say the same for our local blogs. There’s always mean comments being left on peoples tag boards or commenting system…

Even the most innocent school girl or harmless random individual seemingly minding their own business will get flamed and insulted for no apparent reason.


Heck, I for one would know a lot about cyber bullying!!!

I’ve been blogging for years, and have received ALL sorts of insults, most completely uncalled for…

“Fat” and “Ugly” being the most common. (and they expect me to feel insulted. no, i’m not going to feel insulted by someone who is more than likely uglier than me calling me ugly.)

People just need to find fault with everything.

I’ve had people point out that my armpit’s not shaved properly, or that my foot is ugly because I have big toes, and if they cannot find real faults with me they’ll just make something up like…. wow your eyes are so small and your nose is so flat. -__-


Here’s my most recent hater comment for your viewing pleasure

Every time I read such a comment on my blog or on other peoples… The first thing that comes to my mind is..


What the FUCK is wrong with these people?!

Seriously, why are they so fucking spiteful?! Did their parents not give them enough love when they were younger and so they grew up being all hateful and angsty and feeling like they need to spread their hate and misery with the rest of the world?

Does calling me fat make you any slimmer? No.

Does calling me ugly make you any prettier? No.

Does leaving such an ugly comment make you feel any better about yourself?

Sad for you, BUT THE ANSWER IS PROBABLY YES.



Hear, hear, a blogger’s woes.


What did I ever do to deserve such remarks from people?

Why tell me that I’ve gained weight? I’m not blind, I can see for myself. If I really cared about it as much as you do, I would have done something about it like starving myself, but no, I’m not quite as superficial, thanks. A few pounds won’t kill me or my self esteem.

And telling me that my popularity is going down??? Remember what I said about when people run out of things to nitpick on, they make random shit up?!

I am absolutely disgusted with trash talkers on the internet because

1) None of these people would ever have the guts to talk to me like that in real life

2) The very fact they feel the need to resort to such lowly methods makes me feel sorry for them

Lucky for me (well sort of), I’ve been toughened up because of all the bullying and hostile behaviour I’ve experienced throughout my younger years… I’ve been through so much kind of shit in my life, really, cyber bullying is child’s play. But that doesn’t mean I think it’s OKAY.

Just because I know how to deal with it, doesn’t mean other people who are going through the same thing can…..

And judging from the number of depression and failed self esteem cases caused by cyber bullying / influences, it’s not a matter to be taken lightly!!

Some have even resorted to suicide because they didn’t know how to stop the taunting…

It makes me so incredibly sad to see something like that happening, because as hurtful as mean comments from stupid people can be, ultimately they’re still very trivial when compared to life’s other hurdles.



Life STILL goes on!!!!

Sadly for this girl, she didn’t know what cyber bullying is and at such a vulnerable age, (15) I guess it must have been all too hard for her to handle alone.

But since my country Singapore has got the 2nd highest cyber bullying rate in the entire WORLD, and because I’ve been a victim of bullying and I’m a blogger as of currently,

I feel compelled to share with you guys what Cyber Bullying is REALLY about.

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What IS Cyber Bullying?

Cyber bullying isn’t just limited to “U R SO FAT N FUGLY” type of comments on blogs. Although those can be disturbing enough if received all too frequently, it gets much worse.

I moderate my comments, and have been receiving significantly lesser spam since, but I’m sure many of you out there who are still using tagboards have experienced haters that KEEP ON COMING BACK to say shit about you, refusing to go away!

This is why I always encourage moderated comments.

People can also receive death threats (I have!!) and feel potentially physically threatened. I have people posting my address / handphone number / other personal details on my blog, telling me they’re going to stalk me and follow me home at night… or something stupid like that.

A typical death threat goes like this, “Don’t think I don’t know who you really are. I know where you live, I know what school you’re in, and I’m going to find you little girl and KILL YOU AND RAPE YOU SFJWETWI4FJ” -

Yes, I really received that threat -___-

And besides blogs, which are the easiest methods of targeting somebody online because it’s like their own private space that you can easily “enter”… there’s also other social media platforms like Facebook and forums.

People could start Facebook “groups” that hate you and invite their friends to join, post bulletins that consist of FAKE rumours (and even if it was true rumours, it’s still bullying) about you and spread them all around, sending you harassing messages and posting private pictures of you that other people shouldn’t see that they’ve somehow managed to attain online…. the list goes on.

Oh and not forgetting FORUMS.

Where cowards unite and find strength in masses while they single out unsuspecting victims and intrude their privacy.

Here’s a classic puke-worthy example.

A local “Singapore Gossip Forum”... Yeah, did you know such a website existed?

Where stupid girls come together to discuss rumours they’ve heard about certain people, and then debating over whether it’s possibly true or not because they’ve got a “friend who knows their friend”… LOL.

Is it really their business who sleeps with who or who’s done what before?

Can you say GET A FUCKING LIFE?

They even stoop as low as to post pictures of people that are obviously taken in bad lighting / angle / timing and then go like, “Omg this girl is so out of shape and hideous!! Gross! Got double chin / crooked teeth / lots of back fats / protruding forehead / -insert stupid superficial comment here-”

Yeah right, as if YOU are any better!!! If your fellow gossipers got a hold of YOUR picture, guess what they’d do to it?

That’s right, you’ll get the negative attention and criticism you truly deserve, that you so readily showered upon other innocent people!

“The girl’s name is Jenna Chan, she’s a Singaporean amateur model living on off in the US and Singapore. This girl in question is a notorious flamer in 2 forums frequent by Singaporeans. She and her team of flamers are hated by many. Her forum
handle is “Jenzene”

Recently, it seems there was a fall out in her team and internal power struggles lead to betray of identities. One of the team members identity was leek out, in retaliation she leaked Jenzene’s public nude photos.”

Wooooot!!!! That’s payback for you, Miss Nude!!!!

How does it feel being bitten in the ass by karma?

I don’t wanna be another cyber bully, but honestly, if I had a face and body like that, let’s just say I would not even DREAM of posing nude (or even modeling..) and then criticizing other people for their looks or behaviour.

These girls are so ugly inside and out, they make me sick.

They use words like “Bitch, “Ugly”, “Desperate”, “Hypocrite”, “Poor” on other people..

But I can’t even begin to imagine what kind of lives these gossipers have themselves!!

Hello, this is coming from jealous no-lifes who spend way too much time talking useless shit and spreading hate about other people they don’t know on an internet forum!!!!

If you’re not an UGLY, DESPERATE, HYPOCRITICAL BITCH WITH POOR MORALS then what the fuck are you?!

Shame on you!!! You deserve to forever be condemned to having a life that’s not even worth living for, so much that you have to focus your attention on other people because yours is just that shitty.

Kk now let’s move on I’m getting tired talking about these low lifes.

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Why does Singapore have such a high Cyber Bullying rate?

We’re too bored, too rich, and too superficial. In a country where you’re defined by what kind of branded handbags you carry or car you drive, is it really all that surprising?

Too many youths have easy access to computers and it’s such a convenient source of entertainment that most don’t even bother leaving their house to explore the world outside.

Many don’t have much of a life outside of school and work, so all their free time is occupied by browsing the net…

A lot of Singaporeans have blogs, Facebook accounts, partake actively in forums etc

And also a lot of Singaporeans aren’t taught proper manners and ethics and lack the BALLS to confront people in real life.. put them together, and you get cyber bullying!

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Why do Cyber Bullies do what they do?

There could be a lot of reasons… Some are bored and do it for laughs (immaturity), others try to get a reaction (inconsideration)

Some are just power hungry and do it to feed their shrinking ego.

But from my personal experiences, these are the top 3 reasons:


1) They are absolutely miserable inside.. even if they refuse to admit it.

Because NO HAPPY PERSON in their right mind would ever do something like that to hurt other people.

Why? Because we’re better than that! I have a happy life, and I’m living it, I’m blogging it. I’m not hiding behind my computer trying to put other people down. No, that’s just not my style.

It just doesn’t make sense for a normal person to do something like that.

Miserable people spread hate and hypocrisy and unpleasant feelings. They have no time for love and goodwill because they’re just too busy wondering why their life sucks so much.

They get off from other peoples pain, and they feed off the satisfaction of hurting others… To make themselves feel better, they must bring someone else down.

Nothing like losers inflicting pain upon other people to achieve some self-assurance.

These people get so much shit in their lives, from school, from work and from parents / friends etc that they feel the NEED to take it out on others. When you’re stressed or miserable, you turn spiteful.

When you turn spiteful, you take it out on randoms on the internet, because like I said before, they have no balls and they think that harassing other people online would result in no consequences. BUT THERE ARE ALWAYS CONSEQUENCES.

Jenzene will tell you so.



2) They are undeniably, regrettably jealous.

They’re jealous of other peoples looks, wealth, status, success, career, fame, etc.

Before you go and dismiss this reason going “NOT EVERYBODY IS JEALOUS OF YOU SELF-ABSORBED IDIOT”, let me convince you otherwise.

So assuming someone comes onto my blog and insults me randomly by saying I’m really damn ugly and obese and she feels sorry for me because, erm, she’s supposedly better.

And I say she’s being jealous and spiteful…. what do I really mean?

I take into consideration that maybe, just maybe, she really has a supermodel figure and a gorgeous face to boot. I’m nothing compared to her. Well then, good for her.

If you really are so much better than me, why the heck aren’t you doing something with your awesomeness?

Why don’t you go and model, set up a blog, be more popular and better than me to prove just how awesome you are instead of posting lame comments on my blog which immediately equates you to a LOSER?

Why would you waste your time trying to bring down somebody that is already LOWER than you?

Does it make sense? No.

People only try to bring down somebody that’s equal or higher than them, not somebody that’s already on the ground because it’s not worth their time. Would she post mean comments on the blog of every other person who’s not as attractive as her?

Probably not. If so, why did she pick me???

The only logical conclusion would be that she’s jealous of something else…. Of what? Who really knows?

Maybe she’s thinking, “WTF, I’m so much hotter and better than this girl, why am I not more popular or leading a better life than her? She just doesn’t deserve what she has!”

Most of the time, people are jealous of other peoples success. You could be really pretty and intelligent and rich and famous but if people can tell you’re failing at life and are really miserable, would they be jealous of you? No.

But if you were not that pretty and not that rich or famous or witty but you seem to be doing much better than them… would they feel jealous?


Yeah, they probably would.

Just the way the human mind works.

Sometimes, it’s not about whether you’re BETTER than them, it’s about the fact they think you’re NOT better than them and if such is so why the heck aren’t they enjoying as much success?!


Food for thought.

And our final reason….



3) Some people just can’t help
finding fault with everything.

Simply put, some people are just fucked in the head. Come on, we all know somebody like that.

The person who always complains about everything and nothing, the person who always has something mean to say about someone else and that person who could just never be satisfied with the world.

Need I say more?

Some people just enjoy attacking the already-injured.

Sure, go ahead, pick on the weak, pick on the young.

Insult somebody on their blog who revealed she’s going through an eating disorder by saying that she’s super fat and unattractive so she should definitely keep up her bulimic ways.

Or sign up for an anonymous account on a gossip forum and start a rumour that your friend is a slut because the guy you like is into her, hopefully that way, the guy you’re into will dump her.

Perhaps even exposing your closet gay friend’s sexual preferences by plastering the word FAGGOT on his pictures and then posting them all over Facebook?

Just a few of the many ways cyber bullying occurs…

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Why It’s So WRONG

The sickening part about cyber bullying is that these people know it’s wrong but still do it!

They try to keep their identity as much of a secret as possible because they’re TERRIFIED of people finding out who they really are. If you have nothing to hide, then you have nothing to be afraid of.

If you’re not afraid of people judging you the way you judge others, then why are you hiding your identity?

Then if you are really so afraid of people doing that to you, WHY DO YOU CAUSE THE SAME HURT TO OTHER PEOPLE??

When you insult somebody, at least put your FACE and NAME to what you’re saying, so that people may judge you the same way you judge others, you fucking coward.

Shame on you, for being who you are, for being so much more pathetic than anybody you ever harassed or insulted online.

They say the internet is a dangerous place and people are right.

They say that with excessive attention comes a price, which is constant criticism and that is also right but answer this:


Do YOU have to be THE asshole inflicting pain upon others?
If one less person does it everyday, one less person has to suffer from cyber bullying.

You feel so empowered by your anonymity on the internet because you think you can say whatever you want and not have to face any consequences at all.

Which is true to a certain extent, but have you sick people ever ONCE stopped to think that,

“perhaps the person on the receiving end of my insults isn’t a cold-hearted cunt like I am”?

Or “Perhaps my blatantly hurtful ways of trying to bring the other person down would actually WORK… and then what?”

Do you proceed to pat yourself on the back and laugh mercilessly at how you’ve successfully ruined somebody’s day or even their entire self-esteem?

Are you so bent on tormenting somebody that you’re willing to let them suffer from your selfish actions?

If you have no self-respect or conscience, perhaps you won’t suffer any immediate consequences (besides being unable to retain any happiness in your life because you’re so spiteful) but someone out there will. I don’t know if you’ve realized this…

The person you are calling a homosexual faggot, obese, dumb, slutty, or ugly is actually a REAL person with REAL feelings.

People can try their best to ignore the shit you say about them.. but truthfully, most people aren’t trained to be as soulless as you.

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To you, I may just be another pixel on the internet you like to pick on and throw shit at, but to me, I’m sitting here at my computer, wondering how the heck I ever offended anyone enough to be receiving such insults for no good reason and what the other person is trying to achieve.

And I’m not the only one feeling this way.

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Now that it’s all said and done, here are some ways to deal with and prevent cyber bullying…

Because if we have so many cyber bullies, we have just as many people BEING cyber bullied! (wow, ever thought of that?)


1)
Do not reveal any overly personal information online that could result in a nasty situation when in the wrong hands.

Yeah, so that probably means keeping your address, nude pictures, phone numbers, work place locations, sex tapes and the name of the person you lost your virginity to off the net.

2) Do not post pictures you’ll regret ever taking.. or even having them lying around for other people to discover.

I used to do some modeling shoots and I’d hate for the more provocative ones to surface, which I’m hoping they never will, but even if they do I’m mentally prepared at least, coz I know how to protect myself against shit people say about me!

Insults bounce off me so naturally, it’s almost a talent how I deal with haters. Comes with a price of course. You’ve to go through a lot of it.

3) Don’t say anything you can’t pay the price for saying.

Some people get picked on because they’re asking for it… like you know, going around insulting other people and thinking you’re all that? Sometimes others wanna give you a taste of your own medicine.

If you wanna talk about a controversial topic like race, religion, homosexuality, etc, make sure you’re prepared for a lot of hate coming your way because people are ALWAYS angry when talking about stuff like that!

4) If you ever get cyber bullied, you have to take action.

Don’t try to ignore it or keep it to yourself for as long as possible, because it will eat away at you and one day you’ll find it’s affecting you more than you ever realized.

If you have spammers on your blog, either block them or moderate your comments. Don’t let them have the pleasure of saying whatever they want, because little things like that make them come back for more.

Don’t retort back at them either, because some just love getting a reaction out of you (unless your comeback is so brilliant that you feel awesome for defending yourself!)

If you are receiving physical threats, DO report to the police. Maybe if your case isn’t serious enough the police might not do much with it but trust me, it’ll scare the cyber bullies off. Cyber bullies are not gangsters, they’re cowards.

Mention authority and it sends them running off like pussies.

I was being harassed online by this guy, until I tracked down his ip address and soon linked it to his exact company and I immediately emailed them about the situation…

Then the threats stopped coming, just like that.

If you’re receiving harassing texts or facebook messages etc or having your pictures defaced and posted on forums, etc, you always have the law on your side. If enough people pursue the matter, authorities will realize that cyber bullying needs to be taken MUCH MORE SERIOUSLY than it is now.

Lastly, the most important step to overcoming cyber bullying is to become immune.

Understand the reasons why people attack you and realize that it’s not your fault. Feeling sorry for my haters usually gets rid of all the anger or annoyance I initially had, as I realized how insignificant they truly were.

I read haters like a book now.

Stand up to them, take action, erase them from your life… do whatever you can to gain control of your situation!

Remember, a person can insult you but you are only as insulted as you ALLOW yourself to be.

You can react dramatically, make a big fuss, cry over it… or you can be the bigger person and handle the situation with grace and maturity. The only thing a person can NEVER take away from you is your dignity.

These people have hurt you in some way or another, but so what?

THEY DON’T MEAN SHIT!!!

Hold your head up high, and move on with your life. Show them that despite their utmost efforts to bring you down, it’s not going to work, and you’re still going to continue being awesome the way you are.

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If you feel like this blog entry has inspired you in some way or another or if you think it’ll benefit people you know who are suffering from cyber bullying, feel free to share this link: http://underage-girl.blogspot.com/2010/10/cyber-bullying.html

To all cyber bullies out there: I don’t know how you can look at yourself in the mirror knowing you’re so pathetic.

Do yourself a favour and stop radiating hate all the time. One day you’re going to drown in your own negativity.