Self-Esteem Issues

Every time I see or hear a perfectly normal looking girl complain that she’s ugly or that she’s fat, it seriously pisses me off.


Are you so incredibly shallow that all you can fuss about is how many inches your ridiculously average thighs and arms have gained?

I suppose I can try to empathize with girls who are genuinely unpleasant looking or obese girls crying over their fate…

But when I see NORMAL, average girls whining to viewers on a PUBLIC PLATFORM when there’s absolutely nothing wrong with them (besides zero self-esteem) it pisses me off because it’s such an insult to people with actual eating disorders or people who are actually struggling to deal with unhealthy weights. (no matter thin or fat)

Or people born with deformities!!!

How many people dealing with self-esteem issues are going to look at their blogs and feel even worse about themselves?

It’s like they look up to you because they think you’re smart / pretty / hot and whatever, and then you crush not only your self-esteem but theirs as well when you talk about how “fugly” you look.

Stop bitching about your insignificant non-existent problems and maybe start wondering about more pressing issues :

Like finding a cure to cancer, or you know, ask yourself… “Why do I have such shitty self-esteem and feel so awful about myself?!”

I know of one too many girls that like to bitch endlessly about how they regrettably ate so much when they’re supposedly on a “strict diet” and then start to freak out over their weight gain…

Obviously you do NOT think you’re fugly, you are just an attention-seeking hoe.

Who will believe you every time you call yourself “ugly” or “fat”, when you have big ass vain pictures of yourself plastered all over your website?!?

NOTHING says narcissism like multiple similar pictures of yourself pulling act chio faces at the camera.

Real people with real image problems don’t do that sort of thing, because they are honestly embarrassed about the situation.

Those who post vain pics of themselves with a caption along the lines of something like “I am so ugly / fat!!!” are just fishing for compliments and it’s sickening, because they expect readers to comfort them and go like,

“No, you are so pretty and sexy and don’t need to lose weight / get surgery!”

So they can feel better about themselves all over again. Pui!!!!

If you think you are so damn ugly, why don’t you just get plastic surgery already, or brush up on your make up skills!

Or if you’re so convinced that you’re FAT (which you’re probably not) then why don’t you get off your lazy ass and start exercising instead of boozing and binging away and then come back home to bitch on your blog or to your friends again.

I know this post sounds rather angsty but I know SO MANY PEOPLE who just whine and whine and whine and whine and whine and whine about their problems but never even bother to fix them!!!!

Your life will still be shitty at the end of the day anyway.

It’s like, “Oh, I’m broke….. But I’m still partying every other night, blowing money on cab fares and alcohol or buying ciggys to get lung cancer or shopping because I can’t resist temptation”

Yes, shut the fuck up pls!!!

You’re not broke, or fat, or any of the above – you are just SELF-DESTRUCTIVE.


To all the girls suffering from self-esteem problems by feeling unnecessarily fat or ugly:

Stop comparing yourself to crazily beautiful girls. The truth is, some people just GOT IT… while others don’t.

One way I stopped feeling bad about myself was to stop reading magazines that had so many photoshopped images of the “ideal look”.

I know it’s in our nature to oggle at like supermodels once in awhile and go like, “Omg, I wish I had big eyes / tits like her!!”

But honestly? These models are PAID to look the way they are. It’s how they make a living. Their looks are their life.

Chances are, they probably maintain a very strict diet (no yummy junk food or anything), work out religiously in gym everyday, spend hours on hair and make up day in and day out… it’s extremely hard work.

Many even go under the knife to fix up their entire face or get fake boobies just to become more appealing!!!!

Unless you’re willing to go through all of that to look as gorgeous as them…

I’ll put it simply – You don’t have the rights to compare yourself to them.

When is it going to get into your heads that you’ll NEVER be pretty enough unless you’re pretty enough for you?

Even gorgeous models suffer from self-esteem issues, despite how gorgeous they look. Why? Because they never felt good enough!!!! There was always something they weren’t satisfied with.

Or you know, already gorgeous models would compare themselves to EVEN MORE GORGEOUS MODELS.

There will always be somebody better, hotter, smarter, richer, and luckier.

Why do you think so many models are suffering (or have died) from anorexia? Do you really want to become one of them?

Self-esteem is SO IMPORTANT,
especially to a girl because we happen to be a lot more sensitive (especially about our looks)… and all it takes is one degrading comment to shatter it all.

Trust me, I know what it’s like to feel incredibly insecure. Well I’ve grown out of feeling insecure now, but I definitely remember the days when I was harping over every apparent imperfection I had.

Now that I’m more confident of myself, it’s helped me become more optimistic and view my life in an entirely new way.

Shitty self-esteem can lead to so many problems in your life! Take relationship problems for example.

I know for a fact that guys hate it when girls always ask, “Does my ass look huge in this?” (I don’t ever ask this coz my ass is huge in anything I wear)

Or “Do I look fat in this dress”?!

He’s your boyfriend!!!! What is he going to say, even if you DID look horrid? If you ask him this question too often, it’s only a matter of time before he becomes uncomfortable and annoyed.

Self-confidence is sexy.

Normal guys prefer girls with a bit of meat on them, and they would definitely want somebody who’s not scared to death of a cheeseburger.

I’ve had some friends tell me before, “I’m so glad you’re not like those other girls who NEVER eat whenever we go out! Usually they would just order something pathetic, like a salad. Dunno what’s wrong with them…”

Low self-esteem can also cause you problems like lack of intimacy in your relationship, because you feel too unattractive to get it on and you’re always not in the mood.

Work, and relationship with friends can also become affected.

Just feeling like you’re not good enough to handle a job will already affect your performance for it. It’s a sub-conscious thing…

Being jealous of seemingly “hotter” and “better” friends can also hurt your relationships with them!

A little goes a long way when it comes to self-confidence…

If you feel good about yourself, you WILL achieve better.


I received this question on my formspring 3 days ago:

“My bf told me that I should work out & be sexy for him. coz skinny girls are prettier. Jess, I am not fat. What should I do? I am so depressed.”


It reminds me of my stupid ex-boyfriend who was always telling me to go on a diet and that I’m too big sized. Yes, I may be tall and meaty, but it doesn’t change the fact that he was MIDGET-sized and so damn skinny!!!

Why should I try to make up for HIS imperfections?

And so I didn’t.

Eventually I dumped his sorry ass.. (I probably repeat this too often, but I’m particularly proud of breaking free)

Some times I feel like guys treat their girlfriends like trophies. Like, “We’re going out to a function with my family / friends tonight, so you’d better dress up nicely for me!”

Why, cuz if I look a little less than pretty, you’d feel embarrassed to be with me?


If I EVER decide to dress up and look good, it will be for me, myself and I – nobody else. Why should I have to look pretty for you?

You should be proud of your girlfriends at all times – doesn’t matter if she’s in sweats or in a glamorous dress.

He got into a relationship with you, and so he should accept you for exactly who you are.

“Not skinny enough” is NOT a reason to tell your girlfriend that she’s not good enough and has to change herself!!!

If he wants a “skinny pretty girl” then by all means, he should go ahead and find someone else who’s skinny enough for him, why the hell is he trying to change you to suit his preferences?!

It’s like walking into McDonalds and demanding to be served a steak.

No fucking steaks here, if you don’t like Big Macs then get the fuck out!!!!!!

I hate it when guys put their girl friends down and make them feel horrid about themselves.

If anything, a girl should receive utmost support from her boyfriend because if he doesn’t think she’s beautiful.. she’ll feel like nobody else does either.

And you know what else I’ve noticed?

The girl is ALWAYS hotter than the guy in most relationships!!! WTF. And the stupid guy still dares to ask her to “be hotter”

To the person who left me that formspring comment:

Good on ya for knowing that you’re not fat and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.

Knowing that the problem lies with HIM, and not you, is half the battle won already.

Now, what you really need to do is to tell that guy to shut up or get the hell out of your life. Yes, you may be in a relationship and everything, but a guy like that is not worth keeping.

We all deserve a guy who will look her in the eyes and tells her just how beautiful she really is.

Girls, don’t ever let your boyfriend put you down!!!!

Never let a man think that he’s better than you because he will step all over you eventually, no matter how good natured he is. It’s just a male dominance thing.


I’m sure a lot of you know exactly what I am talking about.

Maybe you are not suffering from self-esteem issues, but everyone knows SOMEBODY they care about who is.

It doesn’t have to be just about looks – it could be not being “good enough” for their partners, their parents, their friends, at work or just not feeling good enough about themselves in general.

The next time someone I give a shit about talks to me about their self-destructive thoughts or behaviour, I’ll be sure to give them one hell of a wake up call.

And because a large amount of my blog readers are young adults who are mostly female, I’ll repeat this again…

As long as your weight is acceptable and normal (calculate your BMI) there is nothing wrong with you.

And beauty is subjective…

The only thing wrong with you is your self-obsession and silly chase after perfection, when it’s not even necessary.

There is the normal kind of need for improvement in life… take that, add compulsive obsessive behaviour and you get unnecessarily shitty self-esteem.

I know that at this day and age, it’s hard to feel like you’re ever good enough. The media is always feeding us crazy images of the ideal looks, status and in general… the idea life.

In whatever we do, competition is always crazy high and people who don’t care about you won’t hesitate to bring you down.

Life seems to kick us in the nuts all the time when we’re already down….

And the list goes on.

But that’s no reason to stop treating yourself right. (and it’s an even sillier reason to burden the people who care about you with!!!)

How does a person start feeling good about themselves?

It’s very simple - Instead of focusing on your flaws, embrace your attributes.

Everyone is good at something. We just gotta find out what that is..

Do something about it before it consumes you.


Every girl DESERVES to feel beautiful, no matter how “flawed” she is.

All she needs is somebody to believe in that, before she will.