Secret Sunday!!!

So I had the most brilliant idea when I was out with my family just now. (I had the PERFECT Sunday omg had so much fun ^.^)

I will be doing a weekly feature on my blog, where one random day out of the week, I’ll be blogging about certain topics that can be requested by you guys!!!

The most requested topic (can be ANYTHING at all that you want me to blog about) or the most interesting one would be the next week’s topics!

If there are no specifically suggested topics, then I’ll come up with something random myself.. Or at least this is the plan, if I manage to follow through with this.

The topics could be whatever, perhaps you’d like my opinion on a current issue, or maybe ranging from sharing hopes and dreams, to personal details, or memorable experiences and even funny / embarrassing moments!!!

So I’m going to go ahead and start the ball rolling…

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Since today is Sunday, I will name this post “SECRET SUNDAY!”

Inspired by the amazing website PostSecret

As the title suggests, I’ll be sharing with you guys a secret I’ve been hiding from everyone else and have never found the courage (or need) to tell anyone.

It’s kinda social suicide, but hey, at least it makes for a good blog topic.. I THINK.

Well here goes.


This story takes place back when I was about 15 years old and still in high school.

It was just one of those days when I was hanging out at my classmate’s place while lying to my mother that I had “school projects” to do (but really we were just surfing friendster profiles) and if only I knew that it was going to be one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

At that point in time, I had a “special” illness. Ok I wouldn’t really call it an ILLNESS per se, but there was definitely something wrong with me…

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You see, I had an infection… down south.

And if you don’t get what that means, I’m saying I had an infection down there. Like down THERE, DOWN there. You geddit?!?!


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Don’t ask me how does one get an infection down south because I wouldn’t know!!!

I practice good hygiene okay but it’s probably one of those teenage girl problems we all have to go through, I talked to my friends when I had it and they’ve been through the same thing before.

This INFECTION down south makes everything really itchy and uncomfortable, and the worst part of all has definitely got to be the fact that it made me pee a LOT.

And not just pee a lot, it also made me

unable to control WHEN I pee.

I don’t know why, maybe the infection fucked up my bladder or labia muscles somehow (HAHAHAHAHA) but it was the first time in my life that I couldn’t control my urges to go to the bathroom!!!!

I would be like sitting in the living room, happily and innocently watching TV…. and suddenly my eyes go big and you’ll see me jumping up and sprinting to the bathroom because I need to pee.

And when I needed to go, I NEEDED TO GO.

I had no control whatsoever and it doesn’t even give me a warning. T____T

If I don’t go within a few minutes, I would pee in my pants.

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That very fateful day, stupid me decided that it would be a good idea to hang out at a friend’s place while having that infection and so I did, while taking necessary precautions.

I made sure I was wearing loose underwear (easy to take off HAHAH ok too much info here?) and that I was always near enough to her house’s toilet, so whenever nature calls, I could sprint there in time.

And everything worked out fine.

My friend had a good laugh at me when I told her about my situation, but at least she understood why halfway through our conversation and I’d suddenly jump up and run away.

We had a fun time at her place for a few hours, but it was getting dark already and time for me to go home.

I made sure to go to the bathroom one last time to “empty” myself out (this post is so vulgar) so that I wouldn’t have to pee on the way home…

We said our goodbyes, then I went downstairs and tried to flag taxis under her block.

It was during peak hour so pretty much every damn cab was taken…

I waited for about 15 minutes but no fucking taxi was stopping for me, and it was already quite late at that time (for a teenager to be out by herself), my mother was being very pushy and I started feeling like I needed to pee again so I was getting extremely desperate.


FINALLY,
after about 20 minutes, I saw an empty promising cab in the distance that looked like it might stop to give me a ride!

The problem was, as the cab was driving nearer and nearer to me, I could also feel my urge to go to the bathroom becoming stronger and stronger.

I told myself, “You’d better take this taxi or mummy is going to kill you for being late again” so keeping up that persistent attitude, I tried to hold my pee in… but when the cab was finally about 1 metre away from me, I HAD TO GO, LIKE NOW.

I knew that it was now or never!!!!! If I wanted to make it out alive.

I made a sharp U-turn and bolted towards my friend’s house (the taxi driver must have taught I was absolutely out of my mind for frantically flagging his cab and then running away)

but the fucking cheebye lift took so damn long to come down (I hate HDB lifts coz a lot of retards like to press buttons on every floor)

and by the time the lift came, I was about to burst and I was really jumping up and down doing the “pee” dance.

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You know the pee dance???

The one where you start shifting from your left foot to your right and making strange bobbing movements (usually while holding your crotch), hoping nobody around notices you’re going to explode?

Yea, that’s the only dance I’m good at.

Well anyway the other person in the lift was giving me very weird looks and I was so afraid I was going to urinate myself right there and then in front of him because that would be so awkward… Awkward indeed.

Fuck you stranger, what are you looking at?! Never seen a girl with a funky infection that desperately needs to pee dancing in front of you before????

All that time I could only remember thinking, “DAMN IT JASMINE! Why do you have to live on the 13th floor?!?” (it was years ago but I THINK she stays on 13th floor)


After about ten gazillion bajillion thousand years,
the lift doors finally opened on her floor and I rushed right to her doorstep, only to remember that her house doesn’t have a DOORBELL.

Suay max!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I seriously wanted to die,
and I can’t remember what I did next, but I probably took out my handphone and started dialing her number or simply yelled into her house,

“I’M AT YOUR DOOR! OPEN IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!”

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But the only thing I DO remember is that by the time Jasmine got to the door,

…I had already wet myself.

Like FULL ON peed in my fucking pants, my uniform was drenched and it was dripping down my legs and into my school shoes and socks (FML seriously) and I remember feeling very tragic and wanting to burst into tears.

I couldn’t keep it in (not my fault, infection ok!!!) and it just went everywhere and seriously nobody would ever want to be in that situation :’((((((

WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME?!?!?!?!!?

I can’t really remember what happened next - like how the fuck did I explain to my classmate that I just peed all over her door step?

I remember the look she gave me though, and I’ll never forget how she laughed so hard at me and went “OMG, you peed yourself on my doorstep, omg.”

I think she was pretty grossed out hahahaha I WAS TOO OK!!!!!!!!!!

I just remember walking to her bathroom and washing myself up while constantly mumbling, “This is not happening… this is not happening” but it obviously happened because later on I had to carry home my urine-drenched uniform and socks in a smelly plastic bag.

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…..And the rest went down in history.

If that’s not one of the most embarrassing moments in my life, I don’t know what is!!!

Lucky for me, my friend was quite understanding and didn’t really make a big deal out of it (she knew I was “sick) and I hope she didn’t tell anyone!!!

Well I guess it wouldn’t really matter if she told anyone now, because I basically just told the whole world that I peed my pants outside my friend’s house on my blog.

CLASSY, JESSICA!!!!

….But yeah.

I don’t believe ANYONE’S embarrassing moment can top mine!!!!!!

We all know little children pee their pants, but I was in fucking high school for gods sake. And it was only 3 years ago, now that I think about it HAHAHAHAHA.

What the fuck man.

Thankfully that infection didn’t last for very long, it went away within a few days and I made sure I didn’t leave my house (or my toilet) at all during that period of time.

Don’t wanna urinate on TOO many peoples doorsteps… one’s more than enough, thank you!!!!

It was a secret that I’d kept for 3 years but since it totally doesn’t bother me now, I thought it’d be funny to share with you guys.

It’s good to be able to laugh at yourself sometimes!!!!! I mean, we all shouldn’t take life so seriously right?!? Don’t laugh too hard at me, maybe YOU will get an infection down south and pee your own pants soon ok!

Well I hope that this story was moderately entertaining or funny and that you didn’t get too grossed out while reading it LOL.


That’s the end of my Secret Sunday.

What about you guys?
What is YOUR best kept secret that you’ve never told anyone else?

It could be anything particularly or memorably funny, embarrassing, daring, or just downright wrong, like mine!!! LOL

You can leave comments anonymously if you don’t want people to see your real identity :)

If you’d peed yourself in public before, I would love to know HAHAHA. Oh and if you have any suggestions for next week’s topic, do tell!!