i think i love you, stranger.

OMG.

For the first time in 8 long long long days, I’m having some alone time. Just me, myself and my laptop in my room, all quiet except for soft songs playing in the background.

I’ve been spending the last 8 days with Sam, my new boyfriend, as you guys should already know about since he’s basically been the main topic of my blog recently…

These past 8 days have definitely been the longest 8 days of my LIFE. Each day felt like a week itself because so much was done in a day that is usually accomplished in a week.


Anyway I honestly have no idea how or where to begin blogging about what a whirlwind my life has been recently.

Most of these things are either too personal or too complicated to explain, and when I get too busy, blogging about them becomes unimportant.

This is very new and strange to me because usually when something moderately interesting happens to me, the first thing I’d wanna do is blog about it but unfortunaltely I’ve lost that urge.

I’ve become such a different person… I think it’s bloody amazing how things can change so drastically and quickly within such a short period of time.

In good ways and bad, but I’m just thankful that life is awesome right now.

Ok…

Hmm… hmmm.

Here goes.

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Sam is my new boyfriend. Sam is 23 years old. Sam lives in Melbourne but flies to SG to be with me so we’re in a long-distance relationship.

Sam is also known as Cupcake as you might have read about before in my previous posts which is my nickname for him.

Here is the first proper picture of Sam to ever be posted on my blog.

For starters, I don’t care what you guys think about how he looks.

You can call him ugly, old, weird, geek, or whatever lame insult you can come up with because I really don’t give a flying fuck. I love him all the same, for who he is.

I’ll admit that his appearance is not his best attribute but that’s the whole point. What good would he be as a boyfriend if all he had was good looks?

If all I wanted was a hot bod and good looks, I’d have a fling and get it over and done with. You don’t commit to appearance, you commit to love.

You don’t love someone’s appearance, you fall in love with their character and personality.

Physical beauty will attract the opposite sex but only inner beauty will make them stay.

Have I said enough?

Same situation for me, I’d be pretty damn pissed off if someone was with me just for my looks.

There is always more than meets the eye..

Sam is an amazing person, even though you guys don’t and can’t see it. Here’s a list of more than good enough reasons why I love him even though he’s not hot like Zac Efron (the 2nd guy I wanna be with after Sam)

What I thought was impossible, he made possible. He proved me wrong.

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What do I mean?

You see…

Sam and I met in a very bizzare way.
It was a Saturday afternoon (I think) and I was majorly bored at home.

I’d just downloaded Left 4 Dead on Steam on my laptop using my brother’s account because I was cheapskate and didn’t want to have to buy my own account.

So I browsed through his friends list, and randomly clicked on this guy who happened to be online, and his name was DaNang.

I asked him if he wanted to play L4D with me and he asked who I was, and I said I was Jeremy’s sister and he didn’t believe me because he thought Jeremy’s sister doesn’t play games and a whole bunch of other stuff you don’t need to know.

Long story cut short, after awhile we played L4D together.

Seems normal enough… Until we continued talking even when our L4D games ended. We wouldn’t hang up our voice chats online, and instead, we kept talking about whatever for a really long time.

What was even stranger was the fact that I found myself unusually drawn towards this person I knew nothing about.

Let me share with you guys a post that I wrote in my blog but never published because it was too personal.

This post was written on 21/05/09.

“Have you ever fallen in love with a stranger?

I don’t know you, but it feels like I do. I just want to talk to you all day about nothing much at all because it takes me to another place, somewhere far away from where I am.

I love the sound of your voice. It’s strangely comforting.

I even love hearing you laugh.. but I’ve known you for less than 100 hours.

You are someone I’d love to get to know better, someone I’d very much like to spend time with.

I don’t even care that much who you are in real life or how you look like.

I spend the whole day thinking about you and the next time I get to talk to you.

Sadly, I don’t know what this means.. Like I said, I don’t even know you, and the possibility of us ever meeting almost doesn’t exist so I find myself creating a fantasy.

“White noise”, he calls it.

I think I love you, stranger.”

I think that was one of the most personal out of like the 800ish posts I’ve done.

Such raw, heartfelt thoughts that didn’t make any sense back then but makes perfect sense now.

Ok, it probably doesn’t make sense to you right now still, so let me carry on…

I had really strong feelings towards this DaNang person, but I never told him. He’d probably think I’m crazy. I probably was slightly cuckoo but love is always a little crazy.

We continued to talk almost every single day without fail, and with each day our voice conversations got longer and more frequent and more personal.

At first I thought I was probably just infatuated with someone interesting I came across online, but soon enough I found myself enjoying our conversations a little too much that it started to get to me.

It dawned on me that I was possibly in love or crushing pretty damn hard on someone that I only know of virtually.

Someone I’ve only played online games with, someone I’ve never met before in real life and someone who already felt like my best friend.

It didn’t make sense. It really didn’t.

So I told a few of my closer friends about him, and they all pretty much told me I was dreaming and that I should forget about it.

Most reluctantly, I tried to forget about him.

I went on dates with other people but somehow, just somehow, I always ended up talking to him again.

We would talk for at least like 10 hours through the mic everyday. We talked about everything and nothing.

All I really wanted to do was to stay at home, talk to him and play stupid online games with him.

Another long story cut short, basically the both of us knew we liked each other almost from the very beginning but never really faced up to the fact, but one fine day I somehow managed to get him to admit that he likes me because we had an online fight over him quitting MapleStory and not talking to me anymore.

Yes, I know, sounds stupidly funny and unbelievable.

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After many late night promises, here we are now, together somehow. Because he kept his promises.

And we took a leap of faith in something that everyone else thought was stupid and crazy.

It’s blossomed into something so incredibly beautiful that we’ll be having the last laugh now.

Still feels quite unreal to me.

I won’t deny that a part of me was still quite skeptical about it in the past. But he’s changed my mind about so many things.

Loving someone you “barely know” is so much easier when they treat you like the queen of the world. When they make all your worries disappear, when they make you grin from ear to ear and they make you find the world a better place.

When nobody was there for me, Sam was.

When nobody understood me, Sam did.

Nobody appreciates me better than him.

I feel like the most beautiful girl in the world when he tells me so, because I can tell he really believes what he says… in that case, how can I not?

He’s done and changed so much for me, it’s mind blowing. It really is.

I’ve never been loved this much by someone who isn’t family.

For the first time, I’m not the one putting in more effort in the relationship and I’m being pampered and doted on to the max.

It’s too good to be true, and the best part is that is IS true.

Every morning when I wake up next to him, I think to myself,

Oh my god, it’s the fucking L4D guy.”

Then I smile, and kiss him on the cheek.

I’ll tell you more about all the fun I’ve had in the past week next time, and I’ll be back with many pictures.

Lots of love…